Have you ever secretly rejoiced in someone else’s misfortune? There`s even a special term for it – schadenfreude! Be honest! Have you ever scrolled down your Facebook feed, annoyed and irritated with the perfect images posted by your “friends?” One person just received a huge promotion, another recently purchased her dream car, yet another has a child who just became the CEO of a major tech company at age 27, and your sister keeps posting images of her many exotic vacations! Well, it will be a relief to know that it’s not just you! In fact, a 2013 study entitled “Envy on Facebook: A Hidden Threat to Users’ Life Satisfaction” explains that people will feel depressed and discouraged upon reviewing their friends’ virtual lives. Admit it; you’ve been there and so have I. However, this is unhealthy and will – in the long run – wreak havoc on your personal goals and ambitions.
The Dangers of Feeding the Green-Eyed Monster
Amy Morin (13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do) presents several potential pitfalls related to jealous tendencies:
o You stop focusing on your own success
o You never reach the point of satisfaction
o You overlook your potential and abilities
o You forget your values
o You damage or ruin relationships
o You become inauthentic
What to do then?
The first step in countering our inner green-eyed monster—which, incidentally, stretches far beyond social media—is to acknowledge it and set a course of action to curb this bad habit. Once you realize what you are doing, shut it down by taking stock of your values and personal successes.
3 Questions you must ask yourself:
1. What are my priorities/values in life? (family, education, courage, volunteer/charity work, relationships, career..
2. Am I living my life according to these priorities? If not, what can I change TODAY to bring me closer to them? (ex: spend one hour each night playing with my daughter technology-free)
3. How can I measure and take stock of my progress? It’s important that you focus on YOUR life and not someone else’s; you are only living one life and that life is of great importance to you, right?
The most important message in this post is to always go back to your core values as well as YOUR PERSONAL GOALS AND AMBITIONS. In other words, the only person you should be in competition with is YOURSELF! That alone should be liberating!
I would like to end with a powerful quote that beautifully summarizes my last point. Please enjoy!
You need to ignore what everyone else is doing and achieving. Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing yourself to live your best life. You are not in competition with anyone else. Plan to outdo your past not other people.”
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Have you ever been guilty of Facebook envy? If so, how did it make your feel about yourself? What actions did you take?
MY BOOK IS OUT!